Conquering Impostor Syndrome

Have you ever achieved a “success milestone” such as a promotion or coveted career change and experienced a feeling of “I don’t belong here?”  Have you worried that someone would catch on that you are not as talented as they seem to think you are?  That feeling is known as impostor syndrome, and it is much more common than you might think.  Interestingly, impostor syndrome mainly affects high achievers. 

My first impostor syndrome experience occurred at the age of fifteen.  We moved often during my school years. And by often, I mean…a lot.  For example, I attended a different high school for every grade.  On the one hand, I learned adaptability, but I often longed for the easy camaraderie of those students who came up through the ranks together.  Always the new kid, I felt I had to “win” everyone over at the beginning of each new school year. 

In Junior year, at yet another new high school, I auditioned for the school chorus.  My thought process was calculating.  I love to sing.  Chorus would be an easy class to ace, and they could stick me in the back row to do my thing.  Why not?

However, on the day of auditions, anxiety rose the minute I stepped onto the small stage. My voice shook during the solo, and I couldn’t even tell if I kept pitch.  Yes, I was reasonably sure I had bombed.  Therefore, when the names were posted, I hesitantly approached the bulletin board and scanned the two lists.  Elated, I saw that my name was posted on the general chorus list.  I had made it!  Turning back to the hall, the second list caught my eye.  My name also appeared on that list, which was titled:

“La Petite Chorale”

I had heard of LPC, I mean, who hadn’t?  Four females were chosen from the school to represent it in competitions and events.  The list was divided into four tabs:  First Soprano, Second Soprano, First Alto, Second Alto.  And listed under First Alto was the name, Angela Lacy. 

All I could think was that the director had made a mistake or that someone was playing a prank on me.  It never occurred to me that I would be selected for the elite team.  The choral director assured me that the choice was valid and that I was part of LPC.

What should have been a source of pride became a source of constant stress.  I competed with LPC the entire year.  Yet, despite our team winning vocal competitions and even making it to All-State Chorus, I always expected someone to pull me out for not living up to their high standards.

According to my research, impostor syndrome affects 62% of high-achieving adults.  While not a mental health diagnosis, impostor syndrome has the potential to lead to symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress, and burnout.  Mental Health Care providers are especially susceptible to impostor syndrome as they diagnose and treat individuals with complex mental health issues. Carrying the feeling of being underqualified or “not as good as” other providers fuels the stress response that leads to early burnout.

As a fifteen-year-old, I didn’t know how to handle those feelings.  Of course, we moved to another state for my Senior year, so I was unable to continue with LPC.  Impostor syndrome returned when my first novel was published.  I couldn’t fathom why people would want to read my stories. And when my first novel won an award, I thought it was a scam.

 But older and wiser, this time,  I recognized the harmful and destructive thought processes flooding my brain and was able to address them.  You see, impostor syndrome doesn’t have to sideline you from doing what you are called to do.  There are active steps you can take to address impostor syndrome.

What can you do if you are experiencing impostor syndrome in some area of your life? 

• Recognize that the stress you experience may be coming from feelings of unworthiness or “not being quite enough.”
• Take an active role in reframing the negative thoughts coming from your mind
  • Daily affirmations of worth will help you reframe those thoughts
• Mentally or physically list the reasons you are qualified or capable of taking on the tasks
• Celebrate each small victory as a validation of your worth.

If you take one thing away from reading this blog, take this:  You are valued.  You are unique.  You are worthy. 

YOU ARE ENOUGH.